He said/She said: Valentine's Day

Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again? With Jacob Zarate laughing hysterically and Charlotte Burks smacking her head repeatedly, welcome back to the second installment of The Red and Blue’s He Said She Said series where we will be talking about the joys and sorrows of Valentine’s Day.

Topic for Debate #1: Chocolate

She Said: Chocolate is just as sweet as the most romantic love ballads have the ability to be. All chocolates are delicious, but they are also meant to be shared. Though I might deem white chocolate to be simply okay, I could share that white chocolate with someone else (in a healthy and COVID-safe manner, of course) and suddenly the sweetness is multiplied! That is a perfect example of the way chocolate is sweet no matter who you are or where you are- if you do not like it, someone around you will, and the sweetness of sharing will taste better than any candy ever could!

He said: Chocolate, eww! Well, I suppose some types of chocolates are okay. For instance, dark chocolate is simply divine! My personal favorite company is Raphio Chocolate (a local chocolate shop that sells the most amazing types of dark chocolates with its beans imported from all over the world!). Ooh! I cannot forget about nuts, I do love nuts in my chocolate. But milk chocolate? Disgusting! You are practically begging for diabetes. It fills your mouth with empty overly-sweet promises and crushes them when you realize you just ate 1200 calories.

Topic for Debate #2: Candy Grams/Valentines

She Said: Candy Grams! Seen anywhere and everywhere, no matter season or holiday. Think Mean Girls, and “four for Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco” with Christmas candy grams, or Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which lacked the candy part, but kept the gram when Ginny Weasley sends Harry a singing Valentine. Regardless of the season you buy or receive candy grams or grams without candy, during Valentine’s season they become a little more special. Somebody put in the time and effort to buy and/or prepare you a candy gram. It warms my heart just to think about the thought behind the deed.

He said: Oh, the embarrassment when you get no grams! When you have no secret admirer! Or even worse, when you get a humiliating gram in front of all of your friends and it says something like:

"His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard.

I wish he was mine, he's really divine,

the hero who conquered the Dark Lord."

—Ginny's poem about Harry, J.K. Rowling

Either way, candy grams are a terrible idea! They never go as planned and leave you feeling uncomfortably nauseous. Curse the person who invented candy grams!

Topic for Debate #3: Gifts

She Said: The joy of receiving and giving gifts, especially between you and those you truly care about, is priceless. Valentine’s Day gifts do not have to come from only a significant other, you can receive them from family, friends, or just about anyone! Valentine’s Day gifts might have the reputation of being awkward or embarrassing, but let us be real here: a gift is a gift. If you want to look at it emotionally, somebody took the time and the effort out of their busy lives in order to consider you and to think of something you would enjoy receiving, and if that does not encapsulate the feelings of the heart in any sense, then maybe nothing does. However, if you want to look at Valentine’s Day gifts cynically, I give you the statement which has drawn me to oh so many booths at fairs and carnivals: free stuff!

He said: Let us be real here, you cringed a little. Let me guess, you still have no clue what to get. Either that or you are silently thanking your lucky stars that you are single (cue Beyonce to start singing). There is nothing more stressful than trying to figure out what to get your date for Valentine’s day, except maybe finals week. I mean, imagine all the time we would save if we did not have to spend mindless hour after hour staring at the wall, as if the solution to the biggest dilemma of our lives, what to get for Valentine’s Day, will materialize out of thin air. Maybe though, you have been on the receiving end of the gift exchange and suddenly found yourself with a handed-down box of chocolates that your boyfriend/girlfriend got from his/her parents.

Topic for Debate #4: Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

She Said: For clarification, I am not defending untasteful, in-your-face, “please can they just get a room already” kind of PDA. HOWEVER, there is a certain amount of PDA that can, and in this case, will, be defended. Valentine’s Day, specifically, is the one day a year when anyone who looks down on a couple holding hands, or a couple exchanging a tender kiss that will be a moment they remember for the rest of their lives, is seen as a Valentine's Day Grinch. Moreover, “displays of affection” do not have to be solely physical. Handing your significant other or crush chocolates or roses in public are displays of affection as well. These are not so obnoxious, as they are reminders that people care about each other. Truly, though there are limits that should not be crossed when it comes to PDA, instead of being looked down upon it should be seen as a reminder that there is hope for love of any kind out there in the world.

He said: There is nothing more comical than watching two fish suck each other's faces. *Ahem* Just kidding, PDA is disgusting. I can not even stand watching my parents kiss, like gross! I think making out in the hallway should be illegal. Nobody wants to see it, and you can bet that no one wants to hear it either! I have compiled a list of all things PDA that should be prohibited at all times:

  1. No kissing

  2. No hugs

  3. No seductive “Hello’s”

  4. No holding hands

  5. No “I love you’s”

  6. No looking at each other before marriage, etc.

Topic for Debate #5: Pick-up Lines and Romance Poetry

She Said: Pick-up Lines are

He said: No no no no no. You go first on all the others, this is my time to shine. For once, one part of Valentine’s Day I can get behind. I love me a good pickup line. All sorts of people can enjoy, and have a good chuckle, or dare I say more than a chuckle, from a good pickup line. Please allow me to share with you, dearest reader, some of the greatest and most smooth pickup lines of all time.

  • “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”

  • “Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.”

  • “Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.”

  • “I hope our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and endless!”

  • “Are you a camera? Because I look at you and smile!”

  • “Are you a loan? Because you sure have my interest!”

Romance poetry on the other hand, ew

She Said: Now I take back the reins. I suppose Jacob and I are switching outlooks on this debate topic, for as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by my co-author, pick-up lines are the one part of Valentine’s Day I find completely irredeemable. They take the concept of love and a lasting relationship or partnership, and turn it into a one sentence joke. Maybe some people find them attractive. “Oh, I started dating him because of his oh-so-witty pick up line”, but no. That is not wit, that is turning a serious subject into a mockery. Poetry, however, ROMANCE poetry, that is not turning something serious into a laughing stock. Thought goes into poetry, whether it is trying so, so hard to finally understand iambic pentameter or finding different onomatopoeias to use in your love poem. Just as my co-author attempted to defend his point, it is now my turn. Here is a short love poem:

I want for all the time

To fill the spaces between

Your fingers with mine

-J.S. Parker

Now that we have proven that Jacob does indeed have the ability to be positive about anything in these articles, I think this is a good spot to end the article.

Wait a minute! I can be positive when I want to!

You can?

Anywho, there are some redeeming qualities about Valentine’s Day, I must admit. For what is life without Raphio dark chocolate and the occasional pick-up line?

No matter who you are, where you are, or who you are celebrating with, whether virtually or in person, we wish you all the best this upcoming Valentine's Day.

P.S.- https://www.raphiochocolate.com/ has the best chocolate of all time! Trust me, you will definitely be thanking me soon enough.


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