Joys of online school

**This article is purely satire and nothing more. Please only take this article 15% seriously at most.

Due to the happenings of COVID-19 this past year, school has been located mostly online at home. What a perfect result! As a student I have lost count of how many times I had made the wish of not having to go to school. Of course I regret making this wish now, but it is important that I keep my relatives safe.

There is nothing I love more about online school than the fresh air and the ability to socialize-- oh wait; maybe not that. I meant, not move around all day and stare at a screen. I can honestly say my ability to pay attention has reached below the depths of the Mariana Trench. Many students studying online can find themselves attempting to do homework assignments during the class period and not being able to remember what was actually being taught. The most exciting part of my day is when people in the breakout rooms actually talk. I mean, who wants to be at school going to prom, participating in spirit rallies and actually getting something out of their day, when they can just sit at home and be absolutely depressed?

There are some benefits to online school though; such as the ability to make a quick run to your pantry whenever you want if you are feeling peckish or distracted. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that students online must stay on camera at all times, so we have to stay hungry just like the people at school.

Online school is a very exciting avenue of education to pursue for high school students. Who does not want the joys of staring at a screen where no one except the teacher talks. Afterall, it is the social norm to not really talk in class and answer questions. I never thought I would get Senioritis; afterall I started getting burnout when I was in seventh grade, however online school has really tested that statement. I did not think my attention span would get any worse, but here we are! Wow! Online school is a real miracle worker!

On a more serious note:

I have been very privileged to participate in online school at San Joaquin Memorial. Especially considering how many children around the world do not even have the opportunity to have an education. There are many benefits to an online education, as I am able to really be able to organize my time well and there is no stress of actually driving to school and being in a freezing cold classroom.

The sole reason I chose to do online school is that I live with my grandmother and I did not want to risk her getting sick, as she already has underlying health conditions. For anyone who may live with a grandparent orparent with severe underlying health conditions, I implore you to use your online school resource, and do your part to keep that person safe. I promise, it is not as bad as it seems. Stay safe everyone.


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